Many thanks to Michael McMaster and the international droid builders club for making this poem come alive in 2020!
‘Twas the Night before Star Wars
An adaptation of the “‘Twas the Night before Christmas” poem – by Laura Zielke written in 2015 on the night before the official release of The Force Awakens.
‘Twas the night before Star Wars And all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. The props were laid out on the table with care In hopes theater workers won’t care what we wear.
The padawan was nestled all snug in his bed, While visions of light sabers flashed in his head. And I in my blue jeans, sweatshirt, and cap Had just settled down to check Fandango’s app.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter. Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash, Grabbed the Glad Bag and sneakily took out the trash.
The moon on the grass after new-fallen rain Glistened like mid-day all down the lane. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But the Millenium Falcon—I had to cheer!
With a slightly old pilot, and Wookie in tow, I knew right away it was Han Solo. More rapid than X-Wings his companions they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Luke! Now, Leia ! Now, C3PO-ah! Come, Chewie! Come, Lando! Come, R2DayTow-ah! Move away from the porch! And away from the wall! Now hide away! Hide away! Hide away all!”
So, into the driveway the rebels they ran, With blasters and sabers, they hid in my van! The droids were much slower with nowhere to go. They pretended to be trash cans, so no one would know.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard someone say, “What happened? Where are we? What day is today?” I walked back inside, began turning around, And through the window burst forth a Sith lord with a bound.
He was dressed all in leather, from his head to his foot, And his face had been painted the colors he put. A red light saber he lit to impress, And he looked like a demon, just from his dress.
His eyes–they glowed yellow! His horns they were ugly! His cheeks were striped boldly; he smiled so smugly! I then froze in fear—so unsure what to do. He laughed, and he paced with his saber blades two.
When all of a sudden behind me I hoid (that’s northeastern for “heard”) The princess, the jedi, the pilot, the droid. They came to my rescue and fought the Sith lord, They battled for hours; I never was bored.
They fought in the kitchen; one jumped on a shelf. And I laughed when I saw it, in spite of myself. Luke Skywalker in MY kitchen—too good to be true! Han Solo and Leia and R2D2!
They killed the Sith lord, and then stopped to rest. Then Yoda appeared saying, “Passed you did the test.” With a sigh of relief, the Rebels rose to take leave. They protected my family, I fully believe.
They boarded the Falcon, having done what they came for, And away they all flew in the midst of a downpour. But I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they flew out of sight, “May the force be with y’all, and to y’all a good-night!”
A black man with a gun died yesterday in Charlotte because another black man with a gun shot him. This is an emotionally-charged topic for which there is no easy solution, but I cannot remain silent. The more I process these issues, the more I am learning about myself and my core beliefs. Here’s one of them: It’s okay not to be perfect. We all make mistakes and stupid decisions from time to time. Some people make a lot more mistakes than others. Some learn. Some never do.
The question is this: Who or what circumstance determines that one’s mistake is his (or her) last? What gives one human the right to make that determination for another human? And, to quote my late friend Keith Chesterman, “Where do you draw the line?”
I really struggle with this, because I believe God can take the most messed-up life and flip it to something extraordinary. I’ve seen it—for real! I’ve seen drug sellers and addicts transform into law-abiding citizens who are making a positive difference in the world, who love their families, who have completely turned their lives around. In fact, one of them was my Sunday School teacher when I was a teenager. I knew him when he was coming out of the drug scene, and I watched God completely transform his life, his marriage, and the lives of his family. I know it can happen, and I hate to see someone robbed of that opportunity.
I wrote the following blog post last night while I was watching rioting live-streaming from Charlotte on Twitter. (The post has since been updated.)
I had a WONDERFUL group of amazing and hard-working women over to my house tonight (September 20, 2016). Moms with children of all ages who have taken the road less-traveled to home educate at least one of them. I’m so blessed to know them, to learn from them, and to be able to encourage them now that I’m in my eighth year of this journey.
Sadly, while we were busy swapping homeschooling stories, another AFRICAN-AMERICAN CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES was shot and killed by police in #Charlotte. What the heck is going on?! This is ridiculous! We have a JUSTICE SYSTEM for a reason! According to the Charlotte Observer:
Police said they approached the man [Keith Lamont Scott] after he got back into the vehicle. The man got out again armed with a firearm “and posed an imminent deadly threat to the officers, who subsequently fired their weapon striking the subject,” police said in a statement. “The officers immediately requested Medic and began performing CPR.”
Scott was not the person officers were searching for to arrest on the outstanding warrants, CMPD Chief Kerr Putney told reporters at the scene.
This man, now D.E.A.D., was NOT even the man they were looking for! And apparently, there are questions being raised about whether or not he was armed in the first place.
Police said they recovered the firearm Scott was holding when police shot him shortly before 4 p.m. Police were also interviewing witnesses. [HOWEVER,] a woman who said she is Scott’s daughter claimed that the man was unarmed when he was shot. (Charlotte Observer)
While I join the rest of the world waiting for official details and body camera video—and I hope they release it soon—I wonder how I would have felt as a black man being approached by police today: the day after Terence Crutcher was shot and killed in Tulsa with his hands in the air near his broken down vehicle.
News Update September 21, 2016:
Police are confirming that Keith Thomas Scott was in possession of a firearm, and he did not comply with repeated requests to drop the gun.
Blog Update September 21, 2016: Again. We wait for further details regarding the Keith Lamont Scott story, but my conviction remains: LEOs should not shoot-to-kill.
“We need to create a ‘Think Tank’ to strategize new solutions and a new protocol for the innocent.”
I UNDERSTAND that police have a really tough job, and I SUPPORT and RESPECT law enforcement. I’m GRATEFUL for protection. BUT, I do NOT support the shoot-to-kill response.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND how a suspected TERRORIST who KILLED people —and was trying to kill more—was taken ALIVE while these other men were shot dead for reasons TBD…like, really. I don’t get it. Is it just a difference in officer training? How are some restrained and others seemingly not?
I have almost been shamed into silence by my law enforcement friends. These are men I know in real life whom I love and respect. But when I posted on Facebook about the shooting of Philando Castile, my timeline exploded with debate, and at one point, I was told that rather than speak out against this type of violence—and it is violence—I should keep my uninformed opinion to myself and instead do a ride-along with a police officer just so I could personally experience what they go through on a nightly basis. I guess the idea is that I would be transformed by this experience and conclude that since they have a tough job, I should trust them implicitly. That will never happen, because it’s not who I am. I’m an INTJ Rational, and I don’t categorically endorse anything or anyone. Ever.
Aside: As an INTJ, it’s in my nature to be skeptical of authority figures—especially authority figures who expect to be treated a certain way just because of their position (even though they may have worked very hard to achieve that position). According to 16personalities.com, “Authority figures do not impress INTJs, nor do social conventions or tradition, and no matter how popular something is, if they have a better idea, INTJs will stand against anyone they have to in a bid to have it changed. Either an idea is the most rational or it’s wrong, and INTJs will apply this to their arguments as well as their own behavior, staying calm and detached from these sometimes emotionally charged conflicts.” And, yes, I realize that is as much a weakness as it is a strength.
The fact is: I am not a child. I’m a grown-up 48 year old woman, and a ride-along is not going to change my conviction that police should not be shooting-to-kill suspects. We have a justice system for a reason. Don’t get me wrong: I am grateful for the men and women who have taken an oath to protect us. I really am. I know they face a lot of CRAZY out there in the real world…in the ‘bad’ neighborhoods…but they are not immune to FEAR. Especially in dangerous, or perceived-dangerous, situations. And acting out of FEAR, while life-preserving for one could be life-ending for another.
Is there a solution? There has to be.
I would like to see a think-tank made up of people from different backgrounds and ethnicities work together and strategize a solution to this madness. I’d like to see them/us come up with a protocol for how to handle these unpredictable and quickly-escalated situations—one that yields an arrest (or not) without resulting in the permanent, physical, and irreversible death of the suspect.
OR …
If there is already a protocol in place, then re-educate the public.
“We need to create a ‘Think Tank’ to strategize new solutions and a new protocol for the innocent.”
My question is this: How should I respond when an officer starts out by treating me as a threat and assuming I’m a criminal when I know have done nothing wrong? But I also know that if I don’t comply, I could be injured. But if I do comply without speaking, am I agreeing with the false accusation? Am I allowed to question what is happening without being perceived as defiant? Do I comply with no opportunity to question the situation and/or defend myself? What about my personal integrity and sense of injustice that is rising up in my core? The desire to assert my innocence? What would be an acceptable way for me to present myself in such a way that the officer would give me the benefit of the doubt and lower his or her weapon versus assuming the absolute worst possibly resulting in my death? These are the questions we need to be addressing.
UPDATE: September 21, 2016 As facts about the Keith Lamont Scott case come to light, each side is seeking evidence to support their views. What happens if we learn that Scott was breaking the law by possessing a gun in the first place? What happens if we learn that he was waving it in the air? What happens if we learn that he was in cahoots with the guy they were looking for? Would any of those facts change my opinion that he should not have been killed? No.
I believe in a system of justice for citizens of the United States that involves arresting suspected criminals and bringing them to court for a hearing followed by a jury trial, if necessary. Taking a man’s life because he refuses to comply with orders is wrong. Shoot to injure. Shoot to maim. Do not shoot to kill for non-compliance, a bad attitude, or even a verbal threat.
I’m wearing all black all day on Friday because the only way we’re ever going to find a solution to this problem is to work together. #weneedasolution
I wish we had eyes to see the way God sees:
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7)
Come, Lord Jesus! #Maranatha #BlackLivesMatter *
*Use of the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag does not indicate support of the Black Lives Matter organization.
When you are raised in the Christian church, you learn about the “Armor of God” at a young age. I’m guessing it’s because little children love to play with fake swords, and pretending to be a Roman soldier is very cool. Besides, there’s just something about imagining yourself “girding up your loins” that sets your mind spinning.
Child: “Mama, what’s a loins? Do I has some? Where is them?” Mama: “Um, hold on Honey.” (Mom rushes to Google. Yay! A picture!)
I’m sure it was a parent who created this extremely helpful “How to Gird up Your Loins” infographic:
Hey, don’t “dis” the poster. This handy little guide provides you with a creative way to answer your children’s loin question while at the same time avoiding “the birds and the bees” conversation for a while longer! 🙂 But I digress.
The Apostle Paul, while under house arrest in Rome, wrote a letter to the church in Ephesus. In this letter (Ephesians), he opened their eyes to spiritual warfare and instructed them to “put on the full armor of God.” He then elaborated on this directive by listing seven pieces of armor as well as the spiritual significance of each one. Here they are (along with a free coloring page for anyone who would like it):
Click to download a free coloring page
Belt of truth
Breastplate of righteousness
Feet fitted with readiness that comes from the gospel of peace
Shield of faith
Helmet of salvation
Sword of the spirit
Prayer
I’d like to thank Priscilla Shirer for sharing her realization that there are actually SEVEN, not six, pieces of armor listed in this passage. I recently began her new Bible study entitled “Armor of God,” and during the first video teaching session, Priscilla shared a couple nuggets of information I don’t recall noticing prior to this. The first was the seventh piece of armor, prayer, as listed above. She rightly taught that “Prayer activates the armor.” She also pointed out while Paul may possibly have used a Roman soldier as the visible model for his list of armor, as an educated Pharisee, he also—most likely—was basing his thoughts on a passage in Isaiah. Say what?!
As I turned in my Bible to Isaiah 59:17, I was surprised to read, “He [the LORD] put on righteousness as his breastplate, and the helmet of salvation on his head” (emphasis mine). So, when Paul instructs us as Believers to put on the full armor of God, he literallymeans that we should put on God’s armor! In other words, somehow, God is allowing us access to His armor.
As I was reflecting on God’s armor, I made a connection with something we’ve been studying in our home school. We are in the middle of a literary analysis course, and more specifically, in the middle of a chapter entitled, “Exploring Epics: An Introduction to Epic Literature.” You’ll never guess what one of the most common literary conventions of epic literature is? Wait for it… Wait for it…
ARMOR!
That’s right! Armor. In this chapter, the author explained how important armor was in the olden days: “Before the days of weapons of mass destruction, a hero had to depend on his weapons and armor for victory in battle. The better armor a soldier possessed, the better were his chances for victory (or survival) in battle…the armor and weapons of a man represented more than just his status in society: it often represented his very identity” (Literary Lessons from The Lord of the Rings, Student handbook, pg. 152). She also noted that the kings, princes, and heroes had the BEST armor.
Now, I’m not equating the armor of God to mythical armor in epic literature. Not at all. I share this information to help us, first of all, remember the importance of armor to people in Bible times, and second, to recall who owns the best armor. Why? Because, friends, we have access to GOD’S ARMOR!!! Just marinate on that for a moment: WE—the redeemed children of the most high God—have access to HIS armor! On a spiritual level, then, we are invincible! (But only when we put it on!!!)
As I reflected on Paul’s list of armor and compared it to Isaiah’s list, I noticed something…
I had to laugh when one of my friends shared this meme (above) on Facebook earlier today. I snickered because, well, it’s Kristen Wiig—the woman is hilarious! But I also grinned at God’s timing: I’d already been pondering about the “missing pieces” of God’s armor and doing a little digging on my own. Rather than comment on her timeline, I decided to write this blog post.
So, is the armor of God incomplete?
If you reference only Paul’s list of armor, you might come to that conclusion, as it seems to be missing…well…pants! But when you factor in Isaiah’s, it is clear that God’s armor is complete. Isaiah 59:15-17 says:
The Lord looked and was displeased that there was no justice. He saw that there was no one, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene; so his own arm achieved salvation for him, and his own righteousness sustained him. He put on righteousness as his breastplate, and the helmet of salvation on his head; he put on the garments of vengeance and wrapped himself in zeal as in a cloak.
According to the prophet Isaiah, in addition to “righteousness as a breastplate” and “the helmet of salvation,” God also possesses “garments of vengeance.” But guess what? We do NOT have permission to wear those—God alone retains the garments of vengeance. Not only that, but He makes it abundantly clear that those garments are HIS and not to be touched. It’s not our place to avenge anything. He is the sole and perfect Avenger. We are told:
It is mine to avenge; I will repay.
Deuteronomy 32:35
Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Romans 12:19
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.
Leviticus 19:18
This much we know for certain: We have free access to God’s armor and weapons—just not all of it. We have access to what we need, and we must trust God to take care of the rest.
As Peter said, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3).
In other words, through His Spirit, we are perfectly fitted out to fight the good fight here on earth. When we put on the full armor of God, we are clad with truth (belt), righteousness (breastplate), the gospel of peace (footings), faith (shield), and salvation (helmet). We also have two weapons at our disposal: the sword (Scripture) and prayer. But vengeance? No. The garments of vengeance belong to the Lord.
I love you! Thank you for following God’s calling on your life and writing amazing, best-selling books. Your words have positively impacted my life in many ways, and God has used you to draw me closer to Him. But I can’t follow you on social media anymore—at least for a while—until I catch my breath. I’ve had enough. Let’s just blame it on your publishers, so we can stay friends, ok?
The last month has been overwhelming, and I need a break. Although I will miss the numerous updates on your recent book launch, encouraging quotes from your new book, inspiration for spiritual growth, and cottage-like photos with pretty script letters, I’m out.For now.
In the past month alone, I’ve participated in multiple book launches with you amazingly organized and talented women who love to write. You’ve dominated my newsfeed with pre-launch, launch, and post-launch posts, and I just can’t take it anymore. #stillafan
I think I passed the fangirl tipping point when two of you launched your instant NY Times Best Sellers on the very same day followed less than a week later by another book launch from a fellow authoress and a few days later, another one…with more on the way. You’re connected to each other through a complex web of agents, editors, and publishers, and often tour together as part of incredibly successful women’s conferences, cruises, and conventions. When you really want to see your favorite authors succeed, it can be overwhelming when a publishing tsunami hits the marketplace.
I think my burnout began when I, as someone who aspires to do this myself someday, became caught up in the excitement of each one of your book launches. I decided on my own—yes, I take full responsibility for allowing my schedule to be hijacked—to follow your instructions and help you have a successful book launch (as if I have that kind of power!).
So, I did what you asked: Prior to each book launch, I joined your unofficial launch crew. I shared your upcoming book…and quotes from your book and pretty graphics about your book (a.k.a. ads) and links to your website on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, etc. I also visited your websites multiple times while participating in your launch contests, so I could help you get the word out. Thanks, Gleam!
I watched your pre-launch live interviews online, and then joined the live launch parties to celebrate your achievements right along with you in real-time. Then, I watched your post-launch interviews with the media, and sat in awe as I observed you sharing each other’s books on Instagram. Oh, and let’s not forget the most important part of the launch process: I handed over my hard-earned cash to purchase your book, and I’m reading it now. (This was actually my favorite part, to be honest, since I love books! In fact, that’s why I started following you in the first place!)
But our marketing relationship didn’t end there like I assumed it would. Instead, it grew.
Somehow, I ended up on the post-launch crew (I’m still completely unaware how this happened, as I was in a state of zombie-like alertness after the previous weeks of launch and pre-launch activities) where I was encouraged to:
“Start a book club!”
“Join my Facebook group!”
“Join my online Bible Study!”
“Tweet!”
“Share!”
“Watch us live!”
“Join us this week for ____________.”
“Download my app!”
“Be part of the amazing experience!”
“Sign-up for this extra-special email campaign, so you can get the most out of my new book!” (Which turned out to be another form of advertising with “Buy Now” and “Have you bought the book yet?” buttons)
“Come see me speak! I’ll be at the [ *Insert modern, memorable conference name here complete with eye-catching graphics, fancy logos, and headshots of other speakers* ] Conference.” No, it’s not free. It’s expensive. It’s out of town, and you’ll need to get a hotel. And food. And arrange for childcare. But it will be worth it!!! Girlfriend time!!!And, besides, we want you there, so PLEASE COME! You will leave changed. Your life will never be the same. You’ll really miss out if you don’t join us. We’ve lined up an all-star cast of amazing speakers joining us (who also have books and t-shirts and coffee mugs and jewelry and food). But wait! There’s more! Lest you begin wondering if we’ve lost our ever-loving minds—it’s not about us! So, while you’re at our event, we will have opportunities for you to invest in some very worthwhile ministries where you can donate to sponsor a child, donate towards justice, donate to help refugees, donate to help against the fight against human trafficking, and donate to other ministries that need your financial support. Whatever you do, don’t forget your Bible (and your wallet)!
Gosh, I feel terrible saying that. But it’s where I am this morning: Enough already!
I love you ladies! I love your ministries! I want to be like you when I grow up! (In fact, I’m wondering if I’m not shooting myself in the foot with this post. I mean, I really do want to write and speak and teach just like you!) You’re smart, beautiful, talented, and tech savvy. You love the Lord with all your heart, and you’re living out His calling on your life. Your passion is inspiring, and it makes me want to hear and read everything you have to say. I want to apply your wisdom and teachings to my life so I can be a better wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor, dog owner, blogger, teacher, church member, and, yes, a better American! Really! You rock!!!
I hereby declare 2016 as “The Year of the Christian Woman Author.” Oh, how I wish I could be your biggest fangirl…but I can’t. Not right now.
You see, I’ve got piles of laundry to be washed, dirty dishes in the sink, toilets to clean, and a not-so-little guy that is being neglected while I’m on social media reading, sharing, and re-tweeting your latest posts and cheering you on as you run the race and fight the good fight.
I need a break. Thanks for understanding. 🙂
There are so many of you doing the same thing at the same time that your stylish social media photos are a blur to me. They all look the same: white background, a few plant leaves, some burlap, words in a handwritten scripty font, and maybe a Photoshopped, size-zero, young model with long brunette hair holding something pink, purple, or red for balance and aesthetic appeal.
I’m starting to feel like a target.
I know that’s not what you want to hear, and it’s definitely nothow I want to feel.
The truth is: I feel like your publishers are targeting my demographic with pithy phrases and catchy clichés packaged into cute info-graphics whose sole purpose is to tug at my heart (and purse) strings. Although your goal is to help me embrace that “I am enough,” somehow,their plan is backfiring!
The noise of new book releases has been so loud that it’s sounding like a gong or clanging cymbal (cf. 1 Cor. 13). I do not feel the love; I feel the laser on my forehead.
As someone who has been in advertising and marketing for almost twenty years, I recognize these carefully-crafted corporate campaigns for what they are: targeted advertising with sophisticated strategies of permission marketing with the goal of achieving larger pocket share. Thus, the target on my forehead.
Guess what? I’m not made of money! Or like my dad always said, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” I don’t have the means to buy the books and the bling and the blog-cessories. It’s not in my budget to attend all the conventions, conferences, and cruises. And I can no longer afford to spend my precious time following your fabulous Facebook feeds anymore. Not for a while, anyway.
I need to sort things out. I need space. Margin. Time to reconsider my personal priorities.
Please don’t get me wrong: I think you’re great, and I’m glad you wrote your book! I am reading it, highlighting important phrases, and it’s having an impact on my life. But the amount of hours your publisher is asking me to invest in your project has exceeded the limitations of my free time, and it’s now cutting into the time I should be spending on my own priorities. It’s time for me to set some boundaries.
I’ve decided to unfollow you on social media for a while. Until I have the chance to catch my breath.
You might be wondering how I’m going to invest all this newly freed-up time: Well, first, I’m going to clean my living room. Then, I’m going to sit on my comfy, chocolate-brown recliner in my sparkling clean living space and re-prioritize my life. I’ll carve out alone time and pray to remember what my “first things” are, and then, I will put them first again. I will schedule my priorities; read the Word; read your books; listen for God’s voice; seek discernment and clarity in my own life. And then, I will implement some much-needed change in my life. So, thank you for helping me clarify what I need to do. Like I said, you rock!
I’m guessing (and hoping) that once I have my priorities in proper order, I’ll be back on your virtual marketing team again. And by that time, you’ll probably have another book ready to launch. I will join the publishing party, only this time, on my own terms—my own schedule. I’ll say my best yes (or no), and we’ll celebrate your success again! (And maybe, someday, we can celebrate mine, too!)
So, ta-ta for now! I will miss you, but I know this is what I need to do today.
