“What was the dream you had of yourself from the very beginning?
Before life interrupted, before anyone told you who you were allowed to be?”
— Jo Saxton, The Dream of You
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be Isis. From time to time (usually after watching the “Shazam! Isis Power Hour” on Saturday mornings), I would suddenly strike a pose, speak the magical phrase, “Oh, Mighty Isis!” and transform myself—mentally, at least—into a superhero goddess ready to use all my powers to fight against evil!
I loved everything about this nerdy female archaeologist with huge glasses and a secret superhero identity. (I’ve included a video at the bottom of this review for your entertainment.)
Who did you want to be? Do you remember? If so, feel free to share it in the comments below. I’d love to know!
As a little girl growing up in London, author and speaker Jo Saxton had a dream: She wanted to be Wonder Woman. And I mean, she WANTED to BE Wonder Woman—red boots and all!
In case you are unfamiliar with this wonder of a woman, Jo is a Nigerian Londoner who currently resides in Minneapolis with her husband and two daughters.
Her new book, The Dream of You: Let Go of Broken Identities and Live the Life You Were Made For
The Dream (and Struggle) of You
What I find so striking is the parallel between Jo’s struggles and my own—we are SO different!!! For example:
We have completely different cultural backgrounds (immigrant vs. born citizen);- We were raised on two different continents (she in the UK; me in the US);
- We have different personality types (she’s an ENTJ; I’m an INTJ);
- We have different enneagrams (she’s an 8, and I’m a 1);
- We have opposite body types (probably because she doesn’t like chocolate and I do!)
We are basically opposite, and yet our struggles were/are very much the same. How is this possible?
On her quest to explore the different things that held her back or kept her from moving forward in her own life, Jo dug deep and discovered that the root causes of her brokenness, although personal, were not unique to her. They were, in fact, quite common to the human experience—especially that of women.
And like any good Bible teacher, she found biblical examples for each struggle!
The Struggle Is Real
Weaving the story of her own life’s journey together with that of Joseph, Esther, David, Naomi, Hagar, Ezekiel, and others, the author reveals thread-by-thread that God is present with us through our most difficult experiences, and how they add color, dimension, and texture to our character.
Over the past few months, I’ve been privileged to interact with Jo as she discussed her new book and her thoughts behind the various stories she shares in it. Reflecting on the first few chapters, she said,
There are times when we have an earthquake in our souls, habits, the way we live. We don’t simply rise up and get over it…but we also don’t want to be defined by it the rest of our lives.”
The Dream of You was never intended to be a survival manual. It’s about wholeness and redemption and purpose.
The first part of the book not only prompts us to reflect on what (or whom) we’ve allowed to define us but also challenges us to re-imagine what life could be like moving forward mended. Whole.
It’s powerful.
Jo explains the profound impact negative and destructive comments and experiences have on us—minimizing nothing. These experiences simply underscore the reason she wrote the book: to remind us that there is wholeness to be found in relationship with a redeeming God.
When the grit and guts of your broken identity meet the grace and goodness of God, it will reveal you, but He will transform you. You’re in Him now, with all His resources available to you. You have access to His power, mercy, and grace.” (p. 21, emphasis mine)
Jo expounds on each theme by sharing a formative experience from her own life as well as a similar story from the Bible, and you don’t have to be familiar with the Bible to benefit from this! Jo has provided quick summaries and backstories of each character so the reader will not be lost in the explanation.
Then, without the use of a Venn Diagram, the author focuses her attention on the intersection of the stories, exposing the root of the issue. She culls out transformative biblical truths and challenges the reader to face the facts in her (or his) own life. She concludes the chapter with suggested action steps geared towards fostering personal growth and spiritual maturity.
Book Flow & Themes
The chapter titles, though creative, are pretty vague if you haven’t read the book yet; therefore, I complied a list of themes (noted in parentheses) followed by one or more of my favorite quotes from that chapter to provide a more helpful overview of the text:
- Introduction (Dreams)
“What was the dream you had of yourself from the very beginning? Before life interrupted, before anyone told you who you were allowed to be?” (p. 3)
. - Chapter 1: Don’t Call Me “Pleasant” (Insecurity)
“Insecurities, if left unaddressed, can grow from momentary emotions to a definitive worldview that determines how we feel, think, and act. Insecurity becomes our identity.” (p. 12)
.
- Chapter 2: What’s in a Name? (Compromise/Hiding)
“Throughout biblical history, God transformed people…God changed the names of people and in doing so changed their stories.” (p. 35)
.
- Chapter 3: The Talk (Perfectionism)
“Many of us know what it feels like to hide our identities in order to survive. We do what it takes to fit into our family, our workplace, our friendship group. We spend our energy trying to fit into our context, into society, into what is demanded of us according to someone else’s terms.” (p. 44)
.
“God wants to redeem it all. Rather than your being transformed into a broken identity by the pressures of your world, He wants to transform you to recover who you fully are. Are you ready to be led toward redemptive wholeness, even when you might still fear for your survival?” (p. 56)
.
- Chapter 4: The Day I Lost My Voice (Bullying)
“At times, women apologize for who they are. They minimize their abilities as if they’re expecting someone to tell them they’re arrogant for having talent, ability, and dreams. Some women, particularly those who reach high levels of influence in their field, are plagued by what is known as Imposter Syndrome, or the impostor experience.” (p. 66)
.
“When our voice has been taken, we redirect our lives toward ‘more acceptable’ interests. We excuse the damage caused by having been silenced…we make ourselves small.” (p. 68)
. - Chapter 5: God’s Child (Redemption)
“If we are going to embrace our full identity, know our name, and live out our vocation as we speak with our true voice, if we are going to embrace who we are and what we’re living for, we need to know whose we are.” (p. 82)
.
“The things that once defined you don’t have to shape you forever. He [God] transforms your entire life.” (p. 88)
.
- Chapter 6: Known and Loved (Vulnerability)
“You are fully known. He has seen it all and He knows it all. And still you are deeply, deeply loved.” (p. 108)
.
- Chapter 7: Slay Your Giants (Courage)
“It seems that when God redeems a person’s identity and leads her to her purpose, there’s a backdrop of battle and vulnerability.” (p. 112)
.
“You will battle the giants that stand in your way, but when you do, don’t even try to fight in someone else’s armor.” (p. 122)
.
- Chapter 8: The Wander Years (Refinement)
“Even with abundant examples in Scripture, when the wilderness experience makes up part of our faith journey, we may not always understand when and why it’s happening.” (p. 132)
.
“Wandering in the wilderness exposed the truth that in order to be fully free, the Israelites didn’t just need to get out of Egypt. They needed to get Egypt out of them.” (pp. 136-137)
.
- Chapter 9: In the Valley (Doubt and Discouragement)
“Had I been wrong when I felt called…Or worse, was it just some fantasy idea that I’d decided was a divine calling? Who did I think I was?” (p. 153)
.
“We feel too crushed to feel known and loved; we are convinced we have nothing left to offer as a voice or purpose…We’re at the end of ourselves; we are forced to face what life has done to us. It’s tempting to mute our pain rather than face it.” (p. 155)
. - Chapter 10: Breaking up with Perfection (Authenticity)
“Survival is not the same as being whole.” (p. 168)
.
“Are you ready to confront your brokenness, rather than keep hiding it underneath greater efforts to prove yourself to others?” (p. 170)
.
- Chapter 11: The Song in My Heart (Community)
“You’ll need people who see you and know you, people unafraid to remind you of the fullness of who you are. They won’t be threatened by you because they are the kind of women who celebrate who you are. You need people who want to hear your voice and don’t mind how loud it gets. People who get excited about your dreams and your unfolding purpose.” (p. 173)
.
“God provides people to help us. Sometimes they’re further along in the journey, and they’ve seen more…They’ll celebrate resurrection of your name over the things that have falsely renamed you, and they’ll keep encouraging you.” (p. 185)
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- Chapter 12: Practices (Disciplines)
“We don’t adopt practices to prove ourselves or to perform for God’s approval. We already are seen, known, and loved. Instead, the practices make room in our overscheduled lives for God to meet with us. We find that by making time for God’s engagement with us, we are changed, transformed, redeemed.” (p. 192)
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- Chapter 13: Pick up Your Keys (Stepping into Your Purpose)
“A healthy identity opens our life to abundant purpose…There is less of me—of my self-absorption and self-protection—and there is more room for others. There’s less energy spent striving, proving, and more room for dreaming.” (p. 210)
.
- Epilogue (Action)
“Let’s not allow a sense of inadequacy to tell us we’re not ready or not enough for the task.” (p. 219)
.
“Maybe we’ll remember to be tender and nonjudgmental as we remember our own stories.” (p. 220)
It’s EASY for me to recommend The Dream of You because it is well-written, organized, funny, engaging, well-researched, insightful, empowering, and theologically accurate.
But what I would like to add is this: On every level, the teachings contained herein resonated with me. Jo’s journey mirrors my own—not on the outside, but on the inside.
And I can testify that what Jo offers you in this book is the same thing I would offer you in my own book: Truth. God is faithful and ready to redeem the years the locusts have eaten (cf. Joel 2:25-27). He can take what was meant for evil and flip it for good. In fact, He does it all the time.
Are You Ready?
The question is, are you ready to recover the The Dream of You? If so, then you have found the right resource with which to start your journey. I highly recommend this to women of all ages, but especially those who have been waiting on God for what feels like a very long time.
Jo has also recorded an audio version which you will LOVE, if you’re into audio books. ?
With no further ado, meet my childhood superhero: Isis.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
What I’m alluding to is losing hope in your own calling. Becoming discouraged. More than discouraged: disheartened. I’m referring to what happens when you’ve sought the Lord with all your heart, followed where He led, took the required steps of faith, and in His power accomplished great things, BUT, for whatever reason, you continue to not be hired. If you’ve been through anything like this, you know that of which I speak (write).
Yesterday, I was privileged to have lunch and spend a couple hours alone with a dear friend (thanks to the fact that our children are finally old enough to stay home by themselves).Thank you, Jesus! We enjoyed great Mexican food, a sweet time of fellowship catching up on what God is doing in our families, and then we got to work. You see, my friend and I have individually felt God’s prompting to author books. We decided earlier this year that we would hold each other accountable to make sure we were obedient and actually started writing our books. As a trusted “corner four” friend, she’s also been praying for me as I took this leap of faith putting myself “out there” for the world to see.
I began to wonder if the reason I want people to know my educational background might have something do with my personality type. According to the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory, I’m an INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging). INTJs are intellectual by nature, and we relate best on an intellectual level.
When I shared my website with a Christian INTJ Facebook group of which I am a member, the very first comment—I kid you not— was: “What are your credentials?”
“I LOVE hearing you play! You’re doing such an amazing job with this piece! But there’s this one little section that really needs your undivided attention. Why don’t you spend a few minutes, and work on that part.”
* I hope you’re still reading, because I want to share one more thing: I’m currently reading a book called “How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You?” which has encouraged me to listen for God’s voice through what I’m saying to my son. This book is having a hugely positive impact on my life, and I highly recommend it.